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Jaya

I think I've done this before...thanks James!

Posted on 2010.01.06 at 04:38
Current Location: Work
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: The Boxer: Simon and Garfunkel
Name: Jessi
Birthday: May 19, 1989
Birthplace: Riverdale, GA
Current Location: Crown Point, Indiana
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Dark Brown/Blackish
Height: 5'0"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Both! Thanks Lateefah
Your Heritage: MUTT
The Shoes You Wore Today: Boots...cute boots!
Your Weakness: Self Esteem...or lack therof
Your Fears: Dying alone
Your Perfect Pizza: SO MUCH CHEESE
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:I haven't "IM-ed" in years
Thoughts First Waking Up: It's 10am...and I work a double tonight....
Your Best Physical Feature: I would say eyes. Tom would say ass or skin
Your Bedtime: I'm a big kid!
Your Most Missed Memory: Saturday lunches with my mom.
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
McDonalds or Burger King: BK
Single or Group Dates: Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: GOD NO.
Do you Smoke: No
Do you Swear: Yes
Do you Sing: Yes
Do you Shower Daily: Yes
Have you Been in Love: Yes
Do you want to go to College: Didn't I already do that...
Do you want to get Married: Yeppers...planning it right now
Do you belive in yourself: Yes
Do you get Motion Sickness: OMG YES
Do you think you are Attractive: Yes
Are you a Health Freak: No
Do you get along with your Parents: Mom-yes.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Eh...
Do you play an Instrument: Yessir
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes
In the past month have you Smoked: No
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Do perscription count?
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No..sadly...something is wrong with that!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No
In the past month have you been on Stage: No...it sucks
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No
Ever been Drunk: Yes
Ever been called a Tease: Mayhaps. Once or twice.
Ever been Beaten up: No
Ever Shoplifted: Yes
How do you want to Die: There can be only one.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Happy
What country would you most like to Visit: Good god..too many to list
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Blue
Favourite Hair Color: Something Dark
Short or Long Hair: Either. Depends on the person rocking it.
Height: TALL
Weight: Whatever
Best Clothing Style: Comfortable and clean
Number of Drugs I have taken: Is this a trick question?
Number of CDs I own: In the hundreds...
Number of Piercings: 5
Number of Tattoos: 3...4...5...5!
Number of things in my Past I Regret: I do not regret anything. I have, of course, done stupid things. But half the fun of being my age is getting to blame them on being young and stupid.

Jaya

14

Posted on 2009.05.07 at 21:36
I guess I sort of knew it would happen this way. I always knew that one day I would have to give it all up. No one goes through life logically thinking that they will always be with the same people. The friends I had in first grade should not last 14 years....

Yet here we were, fourteen years after we met: sitting in a bbq resteraunt talking about how things had changed. Talking about a time when 3 dollars for lunch at Annunciation meant you were the top dog and how pizza day was amazing...how we never really fit in with our classmates..how we were always too cool for them.

I didnt expect to not know when I'd see him again. I couldnt even watch him pull out of the driveway. I knew it was too much to handle. I walked into my room and picked up my phone. But he is the one that I call during this time! So what do I do? It occured to me that I didnt really have anybody to call.

So, fourteen years after I met that goofy red headed kid...as I am a month away from starting my life over...I said bye to him AGAIN. It's become a nasty habit of ours. Much harder the second time around. The first time I could blame my parents. This time, it's all my fault.

And Im crying again. Wondering why we get close to people when we know that eventually we'll have to say goodbye and let them go.

Jaya

New job

Posted on 2008.08.18 at 18:35
Current Location: math class
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Nightwish: The Poet and The Pendulum
So, I started a new job. This job is something that I am actually having a hard time with. I work for the Thomas Grady Service Center...which caters to people who are mentally and physically disabled.

Chew on that for a second. Can you picture me working somewhere like that? Im having trouble too! But today was my first official day of work (friday was orientation). So we came in today, had a meeting with the big boss, and then went straight into the work room.

Let me explain..though I may not do it justice...that walking into a room full of like...75 mentally and physically disabled people...well...it knocks the wind out of you and your stomach drops into your ass. I am not a shy person but I have never been more scared in my life...of anything!

But the day really wasnt that bad at all!Once the shock wears off, it's not even real hectic. Though we did see a fight today! I guess they were acting up for us today. What an experience!

Jaya

High School all over again!

Posted on 2008.08.13 at 18:38
Current Location: Math class....
Current Mood: predatory
Current Music: Math teacher......
I find myself perplexed today. You see, I'm sitting in my useless and pointless math class at the tech, doing my usual thing of playing on the computer. I attempt to get on myspace..BLOCKED. I attempt to get on facebook...BLOCKED. REALLY?

I actually went looking for a proxy server! Does anyone remember the one we used in high school? Will someone please explain to me why there are restrictions on sites like that in a COLLEGE??

Anyone...bueller...bueller....WHAT THE F*C*?!?!?!?!?!

On a side notes, Im moving next summer. Not sure if Im moving to Indiana or to Illiois (sp?). I'll kepp you posted. Not that anyone reads this monstosity!

Jaya

Math class

Posted on 2008.07.21 at 18:24
Current Location: coll alg
Current Mood: curiouscurious
So, I am sitting in my math class at the tech and you will never believe what is happening. People are asking ME for help in MATH! WHAT THE?...Should I tell them I am not this smart?

But in all seriousness...this is just the beginning! Its like the factoring anf LCD stuff. This is the esy part of this class and it will get much harder! Why are they struggeling now?

Jaya

The reason

Posted on 2008.05.26 at 23:15
So, when parents get divorced, the child(ren) always feel like they are the one to blame. And of course, they never are. But what happens when you finally are the problem?

My parents are at each other's throats because of the way Al treats me. She is ready to leave and he doesnt give a shit. I really am the problem. I am the one that needs to leave....

Jaya

And the world came crashing down.....

Posted on 2008.05.05 at 22:33
Cant breathe....cant speak...cant do much but write...not sure what I can do or say right now.

I am going to the tech next semester (or this summer)and work towards an associates in business managment...and if you KNOW me....then you know how heartbreaking this is. You know how much this hurts. You know that my world has been shattered.

I have been crying for hours. I cant see a way out of this right now. Maybe it will get clearer soon but I can see nothing right now but a black hole. My fucking stepdad and FUCKING VSU.

Jaya

Burst of creative energy

Posted on 2008.04.16 at 19:47
So, if you know me, none of this should come as a surprise to you. Recently, I have had a burst of creative energy. I suppose it comes from reading all the time....But anyway, lately I have been writing songs/poems like crazy and actually started kind of like a tell all book called The Best Kept Secrets.

It's strange because high school and college made me not like writing very much. I was always bogged down with research papers and reports that made me dislike to write. Recently, I have started enjoying it again and actually am taking my research paper very seriously. Of course, the topic is fine arts funding in public schools so I have a vested interest, but still! When was the last time someone got into a paper they wrote for class?

So, if this sounds like the Jaya you grew to love and have been missing lately, fear not! I am back and stronger than ever. And if you have any ideas that you want added to my tell all book (about college, relationships, specific situations), just hit me up.

*Love*

Jaya

Confusion

Posted on 2008.03.08 at 21:27
Option A or option B...That is the question, isnt it?
I am sick of confusion. I am sick of questions. I am sure of what I want. But I also want what is easy.

GAHHHHHHHHHHH

Jaya

Quality vs. Quantity

Posted on 2008.02.25 at 22:41
Current Location: Dormroom
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Born for This: Paramore
This will be the classic quality vs. quantity debate with a little twist. Please do not mistake my ramblings for me being emo as this is not the case.

Okay, so in essence, we all KNOW for a 100% FACT that we will eventually die. I hope I am not shattering anyone's fragile outlook on life and if I am, fuck off! Further, you know that you are going to die...the only thing that is a surprise is how and from what. To refernece a line from Dogma, knowing when you were going to die "takes all the fun out of life".

So, let's say for the sake of argument that you are diagnosed with terminal cancer. O.o what's the big deal? You knew you were going to die eventually. Now, you can guess a time and a cause.

Alright, so they give you the option of chemotherapy. And then they tell you that without it, you will live maybe a year and with it, 1 to 4 years. You also know that chemo will make you violently sick.

Once you have all of these facts, LIFE becomes a question of quality vs. quantity. Do you chose quality? You live your life to the fullest and do everything you have alwats wanted to do. Or do you chose quantity? You do the chemo, you're sick everytime you do it, and you lack energy. Maybe you live longer, but you are always in and out of the hosiptal for treatments!

So, my main issues is....if you know that you are going to die, regardless...why is cancer such a big deal?

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